Yes, I type that with a question mark. We are about to embark on something huge....AND. I. AM. TERRIFIED.
Let's start from the beginning. Eric, my husband, and I are starting the adoption process. WOW, right? We have two biological children: our son, Nick is 17 and our daughter, Abbie is 9. We have talked for a long time about had I not been diabetic since I was 6 years old, we would have happily had many more children. To not burden my health anymore than it already was, we chose to count our blessings and be thankful. AND WE ARE!
However, my heart longs for the children that no one wants. To go where no one else wants to go. To love, well, the way Jesus loves.
Recently, while reading through all the interesting things on my Facebook home page, I stumbled upon a picture. It was of a 12 year old boy in China looking for his forever family. Staring at his picture, I found my heart breaking, I began weeping, and I felt God moving in my heart.
I emailed and very quickly got a response. This feels like God is saying, "Go, just go, I'll work out the details."
However, I am human and I doubt. I don't doubt God....I doubt me.
What if we are excepted into the program?
What if my diabetes is the problem?
What of we aren't "worth" enough?
What if we can't get through all the paperwork before he is too old? (14 years old is the line)
What if...fill in the blank??
WHAT IF???
So, we pray and pray HARD. For guidance, peace, and possibly understanding. I got no understanding except that GOD CAN HANDLE IT. Who am I to doubt Him???
James 2:20
Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That’s just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
Psalm 10:17-18
The victim’s faint pulse picks up; the hearts of the hopeless pump red blood as you put your ear to their lips. Orphans get parents, the homeless get homes.
James 1:27
Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.
So, after my little google search, how can I NOT be obedient to my heart and to my God?
